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My Chaotic Mess

My Chaotic Mess When I first began exploring mindfulness, I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. Life had become a series of unfortunate events, each one piling on top of the last, creating an unmanageable weight. From the trauma of an assault that led to a forced abortion to the heartbreak of a four-year relationship that never led to marriage, I felt like I was constantly spiraling. The weight of a marriage that ultimately fell apart, losing custody of my children, struggling with mental health, and battling through health and work-related endurance issues—everything felt overwhelming. During these times, I found myself in need of tools—tools to help me manage, to cope, and to regain some control back. Mindfulness became one of the most invaluable practices I embraced. And through my journey, I discovered several resources that provided tangible relief: therapy, self-help groups, psychotherapy, counseling, and, yes, mindfulness tools. A Personal Journey Through Pain and Healing My pat...
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Mindfulness: Find Your Purpose

Part 6 of a 10 Part Series Finding Your Purpose. Many people struggle with finding their purpose. We struggle in finding the value of what we are doing. We question ourselves, why am I even doing this? Finding your purpose in life is way bigger than that. If you struggle to see the value of what you are doing, you get stuck in the situation and you feel hopeless. You are constantly dragging yourself, forcing yourself to face the situation you are in. I hate my job. Life is bigger than this. Why am I even here? Right? You have to feed yourself, you need shelter, you need clothing and you live in a community of sorts. You can get a job or you can run off somewhere that you can grow your food, weave your cloth and build your own house. Having a job is of value so you can get your necessities. Finding your purpose? What's your purpose, your true calling? Your job is not your life's purpose, it's just a valuable set of skills to be able to get your necessities. It doesn't de...
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Mindfulness: Finding Your Voice

Part 5 of a 10 Part Series.  My mind tripped while attempting to write this. Finding your voice in the digital world is like talking out loud but no one is listening. There are common digital spaces where you can have common conversations and shared ideas but among so many comments, how do you validate yourself? But who cares about the digital world. You can create a whole new persona of yourself to present to the world. Ultimately, it's just you playing pretend. We live in the real world. If someone likes you, great. If they don't, you don't care but of course, you'll start wondering- why not? At times, you 'll even hate yourself. Why then would people even like you? You are, who you are and in life you'll juggle a lot of responsibilities. You are a child, a parent, a student, a hard ass worker- you are all of that. But it doesn't define who you are. You are not your responsibilities and roles. I fall into this trap and at one time my only identity was bein...
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Mindfulness: Managing Expectations

Part 4 of a 10 Part Series Managing expectations. Expectations are mere benchmark or indicator of what you are able to do and achieve. It's set deep into an emotional attachment, a believe that you have some kind of ability or control over something. You are expected to control your anger. When you are in anger, you are never in control of what you are feeling, but you are in control of your actions. You are expected to be an ideal partner. You should know better because you know what I like. But I don't because what you like changes every 60 seconds. You are expected to be able to do the job, you've done this before. But I don't because every task requirement is different. You are expected to. You know better than this. Many things in life happens without your control. It happens beyond your comprehension what more control. You can't control other people's emotions, perspective and views. Despite what you think of yourself, you can't expect people to think ...
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Mindfulness: Achieving Clarity

Part 3 of a 10 Part series. Achieving clarity Clarity is to be in the present moment, with intentions- good or bad, knowing and focus on getting things done, understanding that outcomes- good or bad, is by the Divine Decree of the Creator, accepting if outcomes is in your favor-it is good for you and outcomes that doesn't go your way- are not good for you at all or not good for you right now. Mental Clarity- This is a state of mind, that you understand what and why you are doing something. You are fully aware of the present moment and the consequences of your doing. Having mental clarity is separate from having emotional clarity. Unstable emotional state may cloud your judgement and make you second guess yourself, but you are aware of what and why you do it. Emotional Clarity- You have to acknowledge what you feel in the present moment. No matter how bad you feel, you have to understand and know why you feel that way. You acknowledge that feeling your emotions are normal and it...
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Mindfulness: Achieving Calmness

Part 2 of a 10 Part Series. How do you achieve calmness? You can achieve calmness with practice and control.  Practice and control in stillness, temporarily abandoning how you feel. To calm down is to back away from the overwhelming feeling  in response to conditions or situations you are in. To calm down in anger. To calm down the excitement. To calm down the fear. To calm down the anxiety. To calm down from the overwhelming feeling and begin to relax. It's not calmness. It's not relaxing. It's just stillness. To be completely still and in tune with yourself. To be completely still and in tune with nature. To be completely still and in tune with God- Your Creator. To be still is to surrender completely. To be mindful, is to be aware and in tune with everything and everybody. To be mindful is being careful and intentional. Remember every breath work, every prayer (or chant?), every heart beat, is in tune and beats to the same rhythmic vibration to the One- the Almighty Crea...
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Mindfulness: Managing Your Chaos

Part 1 of a 10 Part Series. What is chaos to you? Chaos to me sounds like clapping thunder ringing in my brain. You can see everyday chaos- people hurrying in the streets, jam packed trains and buses. Cars buzzing down the street. Invisible chaos? It's in your head. It's how you feel. The never ending dread, a heavy heart and a forced smile. Why everything feels like chaos? The lightning fast pace of time, never ending work load and chores. You never seemed to feel at ease or at peace. Dive deeper. Does chaos manifest a long time ago? When you are a child with traumatic experiences? Or does it began in your teens, while you party as hard as you hit the books? Did something happened in your life that you cannot change? Did you give into something that you are not supposed to? Drama. Trauma. Dismissed. Embarrassed. Abused. Isolated. Lost your voice? Can't speak your truth? What can you do about it now? You can give in and succumb to that bad experience and give up on life. Or...
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Minimalism May Break The Bank For You

When Minimalism Breaks the Bank: The Difference Between Aesthetic Minimalism and Practical Minimalism Minimalism is often marketed as the ultimate life hack—own less, stress less, and save money. It sounds great in theory, but in practice, minimalism can actually cost you more if you approach it the wrong way. I’ve seen two versions of minimalism: 1. Aesthetic Minimalism – The perfectly curated, Instagram-worthy version that focuses on sleek, neutral-colored everything. 2. Practical Minimalism – The mindset-driven approach that prioritizes intentional living over visual appeal. If minimalism is supposed to help you save money and simplify life, why do some people end up spending more and creating waste? Let’s dive into the ways minimalism can break the bank and how to practice it mindfully instead. 1. The Costly Aesthetic of Minimalism When I first discovered minimalism, I was fascinated by the clean, modern spaces I saw online. Everything looked so organized—white walls, perfectly arr...
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