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My Chaotic Mess

My Chaotic Mess When I first began exploring mindfulness, I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. Life had become a series of unfortunate events, each one piling on top of the last, creating an unmanageable weight. From the trauma of an assault that led to a forced abortion to the heartbreak of a four-year relationship that never led to marriage, I felt like I was constantly spiraling. The weight of a marriage that ultimately fell apart, losing custody of my children, struggling with mental health, and battling through health and work-related endurance issues—everything felt overwhelming. During these times, I found myself in need of tools—tools to help me manage, to cope, and to regain some control back. Mindfulness became one of the most invaluable practices I embraced. And through my journey, I discovered several resources that provided tangible relief: therapy, self-help groups, psychotherapy, counseling, and, yes, mindfulness tools. A Personal Journey Through Pain and Healing My pat...
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You Are Not Your Past: Reclaiming Identity Through Present Choices

You Are Not Your Past: Reclaiming Identity Through Present Choices We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all lived through things we didn’t choose. Maybe it was trauma. Maybe it was failure. Maybe it was simply a string of bad decisions that spiraled. And now, those experiences feel like they’ve shaped who you are—like they’ve cemented your identity. But here’s something powerful that needs to be said more often: You are not your past. Your past may explain you, but it does not define you. It may have left its mark, but it doesn't get the final word. Identity isn’t something set in stone by yesterday’s version of you—it’s something you reclaim, redefine, and rebuild, one choice at a time, starting now. The False Identity of Experience When people say, “This is just who I am,” what they often mean is, “This is who I’ve become because of what’s happened to me.” But who you became as a result of pain, disappointment, or survival isn’t always who you’re meant to be. Sometimes, it's just w...
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Healing forward: Why you don't have to revisit the past to recover

Healing Forward: Why You Don’t Have to Revisit the Past to Recover Let’s start with something honest: not everyone wants to open old wounds. For a long time, the common belief in mental health circles was that healing had to begin with digging deep into your past—unpacking childhood trauma, dissecting every memory, and reliving old pain to understand why you feel the way you do today. And while that approach can be incredibly valuable for some, it’s not the only path. In fact, it’s not the right path for everyone. There’s a powerful, liberating alternative: forward-focused healing. Instead of asking “What happened to me?” this approach asks, “What can I do now to feel better?” And that subtle shift changes everything. Because when you focus on what’s within your control today, you begin to move—not backward, but forward. What Is Forward-Focused Healing? Forward-focused healing is about creating change by building something new, rather than fixing something old. It’s rooted in the belie...
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Mindfulness: Finding Your Inner Peace

Part 7 of a 10 Part Series Finding Your Inner Peace: The Path to True Contentment Inner peace. We all crave it, but few of us truly understand what it means. Is it about having everything you need and want? Is it waking up every morning and deciding that today will be the best day of your life? Is it about being in complete control of everything happening around you? For the longest time, I believed inner peace was tied to external circumstances—a quiet home, a stable income, harmonious relationships. But the more I chased after these things, the more I realized that true peace doesn’t come from the outside world; it comes from within. What Does Inner Peace Feel Like? To me, inner peace is a feeling of lightness, joy, and calmness. It’s the ability to face challenges without letting them shake you to the core. It’s looking at the world—not with frustration or comparison—but with gratitude and appreciation. It’s knowing that whatever happens today, you will be okay. It’s waking up with ...
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Mindfulness: The Best Version Of You

  Part 8 of a 10 Part Series The Best Version of You: A Journey to Self-Actualization For the longest time, I struggled with the idea of becoming "the best version" of myself. What did that even mean? Was it about success, wealth, or external validation? Or was it something deeper—something that required me to look inward rather than chase after an ideal someone else had set for me? It wasn't until I explored my own needs and different versions of myself that I began to understand what it truly meant to evolve. Today, I want to share that journey with you. Understanding Your Needs: The Foundation of Growth Becoming the best version of yourself isn't just about changing habits or setting goals. It starts with meeting your basic needs, just as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs suggests. I learned that when certain needs in my life were unmet, growth became difficult. Physiological Needs: The Basics of Survival At one point, I was so focused on self-improvement that I ignored ...
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Mindfulness: Achieving Happiness

Part 10 of a 10 Part Series Finding Happiness in Life’s Simple Moments For the longest time, I believed happiness was something to be chased—something I would find once I reached a certain goal, earned a specific amount of money, or achieved success. But no matter how much I accomplished, happiness always seemed just out of reach. Then one day, I asked myself: What if happiness isn’t in the big things, but in the smallest of moments? That question changed my life. Redefining Happiness: It's in the Little Things I used to think happiness was a grand event—something spectacular that would change my life overnight. But I’ve come to realize that true happiness is found in the small, everyday joys that we often overlook. The warmth of sunlight streaming through my window in the morning. The aroma of fresh coffee filling the kitchen. The laughter of a loved one, spontaneous and full of life. The feeling of soft, clean sheets after a long day. A quiet moment of stillness, where nothing ne...
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Mindfulness: Streamline Your Life

Part 9 of a 10 Part Series  Streamlining Daily Life with Minimalism and Mindfulness There was a time when my days felt like an endless cycle of chaos—cleaning up messes, juggling work, handling finances, and trying to be present for my family. I was constantly overwhelmed, stretched thin, and exhausted. No matter how hard I tried, there was never enough time. That’s when I discovered the power of minimalism and mindfulness. Not the kind of minimalism that forces you to live with only ten items or mindfulness that requires hours of meditation—but a simple, intentional approach to life that helped me cut through the noise and focus on what truly mattered. The Burden of Too Much Before I embraced minimalism, I didn’t realize how much unnecessary clutter—physical, mental, and emotional—was draining my energy. My home was filled with things I didn’t need, making cleaning a constant struggle. My schedule was packed with obligations that weren’t meaningful. My mind was overloaded with wor...
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